This week we will be celebrating Thanksgiving Day, and for most this day will be different due to concerns with Covid-19. We will stay home but this day will still bring up memories of past Thanksgivings and family.
I loved waking up to the smell of butter and celery as my mother made homemade stuffing for the turkey. My mother and her sisters shared the hosting of Thanksgiving, so we were at a different house every year. Aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends who had nowhere else to go would fill the house to share in food and camaraderie.
Unlike today, the word gratitude was not openly used in my family. But the warm and thankful feelings of being together was always present. I was taught to say “thank you” in response to an adult doing something nice for me. We used phrases like “Isn’t this nice that Aunt Kay made her homemade rolls” or “I love Aunt Susan’s pumpkin pie!” This was our expression of love and gratitude for the good things we were fortunate to have.
I think that being grateful became something I took for granted. I knew that I was loved and that I had a warm house, but did I really spend time thinking about how fortunate I was? No. I probably took everything for granted and I do not like admitting this.
But what I know today, learned through my coaching practice, studies in self-help and psychology, and my life’s experiences, is that the more you appreciate things the more things will appear for you to be appreciative of. And these things can be anything big or small. I know that I feel happier and energized when I notice and give thanks for all the abundance that I have in my life right now.
I know these are challenging times. My wish for you is that you awaken every day with something to be thankful for and that you greet the day glad to be alive. Surround yourself with love even if only by Zoom and be appreciative of every bite of wonderful food, especially the stuffing.
Happy Thanksgiving
Jeanette
Month: November 2020
Cultivating Happiness Now
There are times when my mind wanders to the thought “I can’t stand these restrictions and will be happy when this pandemic crisis is over.” I am sure you also have had thoughts like this or maybe even worse.
When I focus on this thought it makes me feel icky, alone, trapped, frustrated, and stuck. I have put conditions on my happiness; I cannot be happy unless everything is in perfect order.
I am fortunate that I do not have a physical job to go to, but I do have work that I desire to do and share. I want to make connections, I want to create content and programs, and I want to inspire others to lead energized and creative lives. If allowed, my thoughts of negativity and despair would prevent me from doing the work that I love.
There is a saying I embrace, “What you think about comes about”. This means if you focus on the negative you will not be open to positive opportunities and more negative and challenging situations will be thrown in front of you. Feelings of happiness will elude you.
The pandemic is real. We all want it to go away. We can do our part by listening to public health guidelines, wearing masks, washing hands and social distancing. We can also cultivate our own happiness right now regardless of the circumstances. This will help decreases stress, raise resiliency, and helps us help others.
I have found that I am in control. I can harness more positive thoughts and I can create a supportive environment. Here are some practices that help me cultivate my happiness:
I have a morning routine of reading something inspiring, journaling, and meditating. When I begin my day this way, I always feel energized and positive about how my day will unfold.
I get outside at least once a day for a nice walk or hike. The fresh air and seeing nature invigorates my spirit and tames any negative thoughts, replacing them with inspiring and creative ideas.
When I feel rushed and stressed, even in my house, I consciously slow myself down and concentrate on the task at hand. This mindfulness exercise of being in the present moment relaxes me and helps me appreciate my life. You cannot think a negative thought while focusing on something positive.
I find time to do things that I enjoy like reading, painting, gardening, and cooking a great meal.
When I have an unpleasant thought, I take a deep breath, I acknowledge the thought and the feeling, then I make a conscious choice to replace it with a more positive thought or perspective. I do not dwell on the negative because it only gives it more power to grow and fester.
There are times I feel frustrated and think things like “My house is too small and noisy. I cannot get my writing finished!” I fix this by having conversations with Phil about the importance of my quiet time, I set boundaries and I use a headset with music.
And last, but probably the most important practice, is that at the end of the day I think of the good things in my life. I am grateful for a warm house, food, fur babies that love me and a partner that keeps me entertained. Showing gratitude brings more things into my life to be grateful for and adds to my happiness.
I am not perfect, but each day I get better at making choices for my actions and my thoughts that support a happy life. I hope the pandemic gets under control soon. Regardless, I will be cultivating my happiness and I hope you will find ways to cultivate yours too.
Stay safe, healthy, and happy.
Jeanette
Transition
This is a year of transition for me; I will be writing more about this in the future. I, like everyone else, have been dealing with the Covid-19 situation and post-election stress; however, my transition started way before either of these events.
I recently came across the following poem from the book Ten Poems to Change Your Life by Roger Housden that really spoke to me. I hope you find a special message to you in the prose like I did. Enjoy!
Jeanette
THE JOURNEY
by Mary Oliver
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice –
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do –
determined to save
the only life that you could save.